Friday, May 28, 2010

It's all happening...

...a little too fast.
Life that is.  Seems to be spinning.  Some good, some not so good. 

Camp is here, that means constant work.  Constantly thinking of what needs to be done.  I don't mind it, it's enjoyable work and it's David's "sweet spot".  I love seeing him shine and take charge and lead like no one else.  He truly is one of a kind, and in the camp world...he knocks it out of the park.
Camp also means summer and summer means kids are home...today is the last day of school.  FYI, when your kids hit life in the school year calendar...flies by doesn't even begin to describe it.  The years are a blur, seriously. Summer around here means structure and travel.  We have a structured day or mom goes crazy...not good for anyone.  We travel to PA for a few weeks each summer, and that is always a highlight and memory maker, priceless for my kids to build memories in the same place I have from my childhood.  We also have David's family reunion, in between camps...so that pretty much sums up June!!!

Abiding...has been going well.  I had a slip up yesterday and I was at a point where the lack of action had me frustrated.  I reverted back to the place where I want control and felt that integrity was losing out again.  Frustration...anger...disappointment.  I was quickly drawn back in with the Gentle but Firm arm of Our Father.  and words from some FB friends!! Back into the vine I go, the pruning season is somewhat embarrassing as it seems that all you have done is cut away, as you await the new.  It looks like failure..

We're are homeless...church home that is.  David and I have made some difficult and painful  but healthy decisions for our family.  It's tough, it's no fun, it's lonely.  We feel we have a direction on what we are too look for in a Corporate Worship home...but it's still no fun.  Let me assure you that there is no bitterness. As David said "there was no line drawn in the sand that someone crossed."  So if you want to know gossip of sorts, you are coming to the wrong person. 

So that pretty much sums it up.  Our life is busy, and plentiful and lived daily by faith in our Guide and Provider.  The Shepherd knows what's best for us, I'm still learning how to trust Him.  That again?!?!

So Peace be with you this season.  I will be back when I get a minute, June is about here and we are off and running.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Songs

I am convinced that my life has a soundtrack. 

When David and I were dating he used to get frustrated when we would be driving and there was no talking...he'd ask what I was thinking about..."nothing, I'm just singing in my head".  He'd roll his eyes, not believing.  Now, he's a believer and he enjoys the silence a little too much, the tables have turned and the "song" in his head usually begins with a "W" and ends with an "ayfarer".

All that to say , I truely hear music in my head all day.  I used to think I'm crazy, but now I know that is just a way the Spirit speaks to me.  It encompasses emotion, literal meaning and complex artistry all in one.  I guess you could say it encompasses me.  (And no, it's not all spiritual music, God's not that small).

So songs, they mean a lot to me.  They are the easiest way for me to convey my thoughts and emotions (just ask the people in my life who have recieved mix-Cd-that's sad- from me rather than a letter or speech)
It is one of my most favourite things to do.  Search out artists, shop on iTunes and read lyrics and the stories behind them.

And yes, you don't even have to ask, I have the music for my funeral all picked out.  It changes every couple years, but a few remain...they keep me focused and aware that when I leave there will be others left who knew me.  I hope they knew me well, and speak well.

So what is your song list? What would be the soundtrack of your life? Here, is my current:

Mushaboom
Ice Cream
American Boy
True Love
Paper Planes
You and Me
Hello Lord
I like to Dance
Fragile
The Way I am

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Wagons and such

I've fallen off...and they've moved on...I'm waiting for the next.
Take your pick, you name which "wagon" it is and I feel like I am just watching drive off into the sunset!  Health, Exercise...blogging.

I apologize for my lack of responsibility.  If I'm going to have a blog, I need to keep it up.  If any of you are still out there. Thanks.

So, as I climb back onto the rickety car and rejoin the wagon train, I will try and be concise and fluid as I share where I am.

I am at a place that if not careful, I could stay forever.  A place that I think has gotten many people in trouble, if not handled correctly.  A place of Abiding.  As in, when the branches are being pruned, they abide in the vine.  It is blissful, restful, beautiful...it's full.  I wonder, and understand the struggle, how the Israelites returned to work after taking every 7th year off.  Although, with my personality, I guess I will be itching to get back at it.  But for now, I'm enjoying my Sabbath.

The other morning in my place of meeting (sounds important, it's my new hammock out back, I'm a creature that loves ceremony) I had the strangest experience.  I was reading my Bible, and the spirit told me no..."ok, so not that passage, I'll read the next".  no. Put it down.  Seriously, put down the thing that I am trying so hard to instill back into my daily life?  But it was clear as day, almost audible.  "Stop trying to learn me and just BE with me.  I'm relational, I love you, I'll tell you all you want to know."  I was shocked, excited and humbled.  I go about life, trying to learn, I'm a Berean at heart. Those are great things, and part of what makes me, well, me.  But during this season, God has really showed me that I can't do ANYTHING while abiding.  That's the whole point.  (and yes, I do still pick up my Bible each morning, but for different reasons)
It's hard, but in the midst of pruning, a love like no other time shows through.  A protection and trust is shown while all the things that have become dead and fruitless are cut away. 

I've also learned that in the pruning time, if you try and produce fruit...it will whither away...rather quickly.  I'm not meant to produce anything at this time...such revolutionary thinking in this American-Christian society.

So, my posts may be rather bland, one sided and well...less "Courtney"...but what my prayer that you see now, is My Love.  He is who should shine through, for you see, there is not much of me now, I'm being pruned.

Peace be with you.