Tuesday, January 12, 2010


...I'm hungry for it, I believe there is Freedom in  knowing it, we need more of it, can be manipulated.

These past 9 months, have been tough, on levels I've never cared to know, in ways that I thought I could handle and with people I never would have imagined.  But, I'm here, I'm not only breathing and here, but I'm better and here.  Struggles, have caused me to seek out Truth.  Caused me to look deeper and find what I know to be true.

That is not an out of character thing for me. I'm a recovering Cynic.  God has redeemed that side of me and made me realise that I am a Berean. (Revelation 2) He is using my questioning to find Him.  So in the midst of the struggles and times of being uncomfortable, I have learned to rejoice, I thank the Lord for these struggles, because they have led me to Him, to finding Him in places, on my own, not because others say He is there or isn't there.  I have learned to Trust my savior who lives in me, MY guide, The Spirit which lives in me.  He speaks to me, loud and clear, and other times challenges my thinking, but always says He loves me.  No matter how long this will take. And other times, He's silent..."go and find out" He says, so I do.  I remember my mom, if I would ask an obscure question, which I did a lot..."Go look it up" she'd say, without even turning around.  So I trekked upstairs to our Encyclopedia Britannica collection and looked it up and learned, at my own pace.

So God is teaching me, the same way my parents did, because He's knows how I learn. funny.  And He has brought to me one of the best teachings that so greatly articulate the frustration and desire within me.  When the energy inside me can't find words to point out what is missing, this man did.  God has crossed my (and my family's) path with his at an exact moment for an exact thing. (It doesn't help these men are British, I'm just saying...God knows me and has a wicked good sense of humour!) 3DMinistries.org...is changing how David and I think and speak and has given us a confidence that is truly from the Lord.  Mike Breen gave a message on Healing that...well, you just need to listen. It articulates a yearning inside me for the whole story, for both sides of the coin...You can believe in Healing and the move of the Spirit and still Find God when it doesn't happen...and maybe, even more so!

I urge you to listen, to listen and listen again. Find Truth in it and search it out for yourself.  God is moving...yes He is. I'm not missing it.


1 comment:

  1. Hi Courtney! Its good to read your words and I will continue to do so =)
    This is a good connection to you now that I have given Facebook the boot.
    I think you're grrrreat!
    And your music over there has me tappin my little twinlkers.

    Katie Mize