Tuesday, March 16, 2010


**sorry for the mean a quick type**

let me start by saying that I have set myself up...promises of new and exciting thoughts, well written statements, timely posts...well, motherhood has called and called and now I have shut the door and locked it, and am not answering the calls for a bit. (Literally and figuratively).  As well as now wondering if this writing will be worth the fanfare it has been given.
These thoughts are not new, they aren't exciting. If you've been around me this past 6 months you've probably heard them...but it something else to put it in writting.  To stake claim in them and allow the scrutiny and questions to flow.  I am there. Tired of candy coating and not stepping on toes. This is where I have landed.

Again, if you are any part of my life, you are aware of lots of changes.  Changes at Wayfarer, changes at church, changes in our personal lives (this shockingly isn't the major catalyst).  And the awkwardness of it all is that it is so intricately interwound that it gets blurry, grey, and well mis represented at times.  This is not about that persay, but about me voiceing where I stand on an issue that seems to be all a buzz and all over. Healing...(again it isn't such a different topic if you are in the daily ins and outs).

Healing is part of my spiritual DNA.  I was raised to believe in it, taught to know it and led to expect it.  I have seen all of these things come to pass too. People healed, released, filled and overflow.  I also know that it can be done apart from God, for things other than God's Glory and by manipulative people.  But as the pendulum has swung back and forth, it has landed in what I have come to accept as center, for me at least.

All of this came about as I have wrestled to answer questions of others as well as my own, on my thoughts of a movement of the Holy Spirit that is, without question, here in G'ville.  So, as I sing and pray and whisper the same words as people around me: "I believe that you're my healer...nothing is impossible for you..." I can't help but wonder if we are singing the same thing.  Bold I know, I'm willing to be alone on this...

I have come to realize that as I do believe and know and expect healing, the definition may be different.  See for some, I believe healing is defined as deliverance.  God ridding our lives, cities and circumstances of anything other that what He.  Yet, I have come to find that the character of God (through Jesus) is one that doesn't promise that, in fact at times promises the opposite.  I believe that healing is defined as deliverance and/or redemption.  We don't know why deliverance may or may not come to us...but redemption is ALWAYS promised.  If we pray "healing" over people and only use language that elludes too deliverance, what are people to do if the deliverance never comes.  Where do they land?  What is their faith in? 

On that subject, I am currently digging into Faith and Healing...Jesus says by your Faith you have been healed ( and other times, the person had nothing to do with it.  He just wanted to prove something (see Him healing on the Sabbath)).  But faith in what?  Faith that He could heal them, or Faith that He was the Son of God?  Really digging into that one.

So again, I know this isn't crazy or out there or awe inspiring, but I felt as though I needed to say it...more so type it.  I stand on the side of Healing...but my definition is much broader than you may think.